From Lynn: July 1, 2009

Dear Ones,
 I have many goals, some specific, some still taking shape, all really important and esciting to me, and  I shared two with my doctor a couple months ago.   I wanted to see Danny graduate and I wanted to finish teaching the school year.  Wham!  I got what I asked for (and a joy it was!), and as soon as my wishes were fulfilled I hit a big bump in the road.

As many of you know, Monday was our last day at school and Tuesday I had scheduled to re-enter treatment at the Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA) to prepare for a bone marrow transplant.  My lab reports in late May showed I was in remission and everything looked great; I felt wonderful.   The end of any school year can be extraordinarily busy and mine included a week at Outdoor School and the move to Lake Forest Park   I was tired, but happy as could be with plenty of energy.

Reentry into the Cancer World was tough at best, and mine was especially funky as I had quite a cough and was immediately put on 'respiratory isolation' which meant I had to wear a mask, sit in a confined part of every waiting area and ride the elevators alone.  I was meeting a whole new team of medical folks and felt like the new girl in school without a face.  I dutifully showed up for every health test imaginable and kept a vigorous schedule dashing about the fancy new buildlings on Lake Union.  I was a little overwhelmed, but I was moving toward this transplant that promised the best bet for me to beat this form of leukemia.  On Thursday morning I did a bone marrow biopsy and spinal tap (wow!  They are painful!) and by Friday afternoon was in a meeting with my new doctor and physician assistant to hear the very troubling news that the leukemic 'blasts' had returned with a vengeance and I had to postpone my transplant.

After a long night of soul-searching, tears and hugs with Jon, we agreed (as did all the medical folks involved) to keep at it and my immediate job became that of the cowardly lion who had to find his courage.  

I returned to Dr. White and Swedish Hospital early Monday morning to resume a hard dose of chemotherapy.  I have to be in remission to begin the transplant process and, by golly, remission it will be!  It's very similar to what I've been doing since November.  Today is the third day and I'm holding up well, expecting to return home on Friday.  Another short leash between me and clinic will be tethered for the following one to two weeks, then another round (or more) of chemo til I get back into remission.  Then, it's a straight shot back to the transplant world - no waiting this time.  Dr. White calls it a 'bump in the road,' and though I might dispute that it feels more like boot camp, I'll travel through with the same commitment I've had all along.  

I wrote a new set of goals.  The one I'll share with the doctors this time is "29,200 hours of fresh air and sunshine."

Visiting and calls can be tough, so trust that I love and think about you more than you know.

With Hope and Joy,
Lynn