Monday, February 2, 2009

Dearest Ones, Once again I open with a big grin and a loud shout of 'Thank you, thank you, thank you!'  I am so grateful and overwhelmed by your kindnesses in every shape and form.  As I go through my days, sometimes in the hospital, sometimes at home, sometimes at the clinic or Dr. office, sometimes running errands, a comment or card or gift pops into my mind with a glow of warmth right in my heart.  Good news, bad news.  There is no bad news.  My hair is gone and I'm thinner - mes amis, be careful what you wish for!  I gently remind the powers that be that when I wished for less eyebrows and leg hairs, I didn't quite mean none at all.  To quote Debra Jarvis, "it feels as though someone is erasing my face."  No nose hairs even!  This means that on really cold days I can make snotcicles to impress even the grossest of you!  Chemo brain is also a reality, and Jon, Danny and Colin are getting used to me stopping mid sentence or rerouting a conversation because I can't recall a name, place or train of thought.  To all my students who I remind to 'form a thought before you raise your hand.' I'm right there with you in forgetting what I meant to say.  Lastly, the days that I don't feel like my mouth is lined with tin foil are glorious.  Every sip of coffee, bit of sandwich or morsel of chocolate is a taste bud sensation and I go into a fit of eating frenzy.  The good news - I'm half way through this set of induction treatments.  That means that I've endured four rounds of intense chemotherapy in the hospital and at home.  There are many chemicals running through my body - some fight the cancer cells (the 'stupid' cells as Dr. White calls them), others throw rocks back at the fighter cells, some work on building good cells, others batlle infections, and other knock around building healthy bones.   To all my students and young friends who have achy legs and bones from growing - I'm also right there with you!  All these chemicals that march around battling each other and doing construction work can be quite a challenge. Sometimes I feel them sword fighting in my shoulder blades or hammering in my leg bones, sometimes they are wrestling in my stomach or laying cement in my spine, but I have faith that the good guys are winning.  The other good news is my doctor and the staff on the 12th floor and clinics are a constant source of solid information, thoughtful care, tons of knowledge and copious amounts of compassion.    I am very fortunate to have these people caring and rooting for me.  The OTHER good news is Jon (Dr. Drake to my older students)  and I are married!   We went to Lincoln Park on a sunny Sunday.  The sun shone and the skies beamed blue, and with a handful of family and friends said, 'I do!' It was simple and impromptu, and I love being married to the perfect man.  Tomorrow I return to the 12th floor for the fifth round of treatments.  I muster up my courage, and try to plan how to best manage the effects and stay positive.  I dream of coming back to Room 22, of running through the park, and of long, full days of loving and enjoying my family and friends. Until then, your wishes, prayers and encouragment are pushing me in that direction.  With Love and Gratitude, Lynn